


Nat 20

by RenaRoo



Series: RvB Bingo War [4]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: D&D Shenanigans, RvB Bingo War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 14:20:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10618719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RenaRoo/pseuds/RenaRoo
Summary: [RvB Bingo War] Church would like just one successful campaign...





	

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: ( anonymous ) “I didn’t agree to this” for blue team but maybe the characters from back in blood gulch if you don’t mind?
> 
> A/N: One more square fill we’ve got “role playing” ;P

“Seriously? _Seriously?_ That is what you’re going to do with your _one_ action this turn, Tucker?” Church half screeched. 

“Let him, Church,” Tex snapped. “What else are we going to do? Spend _another_ hour bitching at each other? I have better shit to do. Like… _anything._ Anything would be preferable to sitting on my ass surrounded by all of you for another couple of hours.”

“Church, Church! Is it my turn yet?” Caboose asked excitedly, rocking his seat back and forth in a way that _should_ have been dangerous for _him_ but Church was certain he’d somehow find a way to kill _him_ with instead. 

“Caboose, you _insisted_ that your turn is after me. Even after you rolled highest initiative,” Church snapped, waving to the dice over top of Caboose’s notebook. “And I can’t go until _Tucker_ goes. And he’s currently wasting our time being an asshole!” 

“I’m being very productive with my turn!” Tucker countered, waggling a finger in Church’s face. “ _You’re_ the one who’s wasting time by debating shit with me! Just let my character pinch the tavern wench’s ass!”

“You’re a paladin!” Church screeched.

“You’re all pissing me off!” Tex growled. “Let him roll, Church!”

“Yes, c’mon, Church! I want Tucker’s turn to be over. So you can have a turn. Then I can have a turn. And speak in my character’s voice,” Caboose reminded them all for what must have been the twentieth time in the past half hour. He then cleared his voice and half-sang, “She sounds like this.”

“We know, we’ve all been annoyed by it,” Tex remarked. 

“That’s because none of you know what it’s like to be a lady at Hogwarts!” Caboose argued. 

“This _isn’t Harry Potter!”_ Church roared.

“CHURCH!” Tex and Tucker harmonized.

“Fine! Fuck it! Make a persuasion role, Tucker!” Church growled. 

“Why wouldn’t it be Charisma?” Tucker asked, shaking the dice in his hand. 

“Because you put _all of your stats_ into Charisma. My bar wench is reacting to how persuasive you are,” Church snapped.

“Sounds like you’e metagaming, Church,” Tex pointed out. 

“More like _metacheating!”_ Tucker replied before rolling. “Sixteen!”

“You fucking liar,” Church said before leaning over the board to examine the dice for himself. “You know what!? This shit shouldn’t even matter because it’s not about what the bar wench is going to do after you pinch her ass, it’s the fact that _all of you_ have forgotten the goddamn point of this mission!”

“Was it to tell Church’s character he’s the best? I can still do that,” Caboose remarked. 

“No! It’s to get the sacred flag!” Church cried out. “That’s why we hired Tex’s bounty hunter orc character!” 

“Yeah, despite my best efforts, you idiots are not getting anywhere close to grabbing a flag,” Tex joked. 

“Yeah, which is why _my_ quest is to pinch that ass! Which, I might remind you all, due to my charisma and persuasion combined means we _immediately_ start fucking on that table,” Tucker said, cracking his knuckles contently. “Sorry about the drinks. You’re welcome for the show.”

“You all suck,” Church hissed.

“And, so, art imitates life,” Tex chuckled. 


End file.
